Most classes Principia offers are pretty standard: EDST How To Deal With Children 101, POLS How To Deal With Other People II, ECON Topics: How To Deal With The Economy, EEM How To Go Into The Career You Want block, and so on. However, occasionally around campus, you’ll hear students complaining about their dreaded Knight Classes. Personally, I think Knight Classes sound cool, but what do I know? I’m just a squire.
Now, you may be wondering – what are Knight Classes? Apparently, they’re classes that typically happen only on Monday evenings, reserved for students with the highest degree of discipline and masochism. Not to be confused with the Stage Combat class that’s happening this semester, Knight Classes are less about the fighting and more about what it means to be a Knight, such as BUAD Consumer Data-Driven Marketing and ARTS Capstone Exhibition – important know-how for any knight.
The Theatre Production being done this semester exemplifies this idea, since, in that Knight Class, they are doing the Three Musketeers. Whilst musketeers are not technically the same as knights, they fill similar roles and are meant to show the same level of discipline, honor, and skill. Like musketeers, the cast doesn’t only do their Knight Classes on Mondays, but rather most days, teaching them discipline. The knights-in-training also put in physical work with additional combat training that most students don’t get, allowing them to learn the skills they need to be a knight.
CSCI Professional Software Development, another Knight Class, has been developed to allow knights to prepare for the modern world. Protecting the Queen, Dr. Meggan Madden, is a knight’s main duty, and in this era, you must train for more than just physical threats. Students in this class are expected to learn how to protect royalty from online threats, such as scammers, and having to deal with DuoSecurity more than once in a single day.
BUAD Discovering Business is all about teaching a knight how to increase royal commerce. Since the end of colonialism – and the rise of fact-checking, which you definitely don’t need to do regarding colonialism – bribery and larceny have become slightly harder. To remedy that, this class is all about teaching knights to get as much money as they can for their future rulers.
Meanwhile, SUS Sustainable Food Systems is all about discovering once and for all which is more effective, hunting or gathering.
Ultimately, Knight Classes are all about teaching valor, using your resources, and doing your best with scheduling. This is your satire squire signing out.
