Oftentimes, we report on future or present events and forget to inform you of the vast history of Principia. Well, fear not, my fellow students, for now is the time to tell you about Prin’s past.
Principia’s land was officially conquered in the Medieval Era of 1935 after a war that lasted about four years. In addition to the founding of the college, several houses were founded, the first of which was the House of Howard.
The House of Howard was known to be beautiful, despite its current status of being “the house with no AC.” Residents during these times would frequently brag about their house being the first, which many archaeologists believe has forever cursed the house to be “way too hot.” Other archaeologists argue that curses don’t exist, but we all know that’s a load of malarky.
The House of Buck was the next to be founded. This patriarchal house has long been home to a group of people called “The Gentlemen of Buck”, although at certain times throughout history, they have not lived up to that title. Regardless of their moral alignment, they are historically said to be really good at making pancakes.
The House of Anderson was the third house to be constructed. It’s said that the residents only appear on Halloween, which still seems to be true in modern times.
The Court of Rackham is a monarchy that began around the same time as the House of Anderson, but wasn’t fully established until later. It is widely known nowadays for being one of the largest kingdoms, to the extent that it had a civil war where it split into two sides, known as Rackham East and Rackham West. Rackham West conquered a later-established nation, the House of Lowery, and split from Rackham East entirely. In the modern day, the Kingdom of Lowery was wiped out by a plague, with living survivors seeking refuge across all of the lands.
House of Brooks, originally a patriarchal society, has since been taken over and become a matriarchy akin to the Amazons, although at times they’ve allowed men to take refuge in extreme circumstances. Despite the unity and having a territory advantage, the people of Brooks are still known to be kind and welcoming to travelers; the people of the Eastern Lands have needed to walk past to forage for food for centuries, and there has not been an incident.
The House of Sylvester, formerly extinct, has since been revived. The original people of Sylvester intended to settle in the spot of the land of Brooks, but were forced to relocate due to the House of Brooks establishing themselves there first. Nowadays, the new people living in those lands are very different, but the “Sylvillians,” as some call them, have been inspired by the traditions of the former culture that lived there.
The House of Ferguson is newer than the rest. Notably, it originally had the plague that wiped out the Kingdom of Lowery, but it managed to survive. Some of the survivors of the Lowery plague claim that the people of Ferg were the ones who spread it to them in the first place.
Two other houses formed in the time of Lowery and Ferguson are the Houses of McNabb. The Queendom of Clara McNabb was destroyed a while ago, although the lands are still used by people today, with the lands being a vital resource during the days of COVID. The Kingdom of Joe McNabb has been around more recently, but it, too, has fallen. Now the lands are mostly used for the preparation to invade other countries.
The other house created at this time was Tavern 212 in the lands of Gehner. They formed an uprising, which led to their people and resources slowly being depleted. Nowadays, the lands of Gehner are used for migration purposes.
In addition to these, there is something called “Non-Trad Housing,” where people living on the Principia lands have to stick it out on their own in small cottages. It’s said that these hermits still fraternize with people of the Houses, but live outside of their realms.
Finally, there’s the actual first house: the House of Mistake. It was established before the others, including Howard, yet the lands are not used for people; rather, as a reminder or a warning. Historians have been grappling with the meaning of this since the beginning, some viewing it as a symbol of good and growth, whilst others view it as a bad omen. Travelers from far away come to see it, and photographers seem particularly fond of it, so, regardless of the meaning, it clearly has some charm to it.
Ultimately, Principia’s history is as vast as the houses themselves. You can learn more about the history online at content.principia.edu. This is your rapidly aging satire-writer signing out.